Gomer

he never ceases to amaze me, i thought at first that Gomer just hated cats cuz he does the same thing when I wear my slippers that look like cats but I guess he just doesn't like slippers in general.

I haven't groomed him in a while, but he's still cute.





Shell

Another Joke Called The Alberta Cowboy

An Alberta cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous
pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud
towards him.
The driver, a young man in an Armani suit,
Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and
asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd,
will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer,
connects it to his Rogers RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs
to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite
navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then
feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing
facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his
Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODB Connected Excel
Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes,
receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the
cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says
the cowboy.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you
exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay,
why not?"
"You're a member of parliament for the Canadian Government", says
the cowboy.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess
that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and
you don't know a thing about cows...this is a herd of sheep.
Now give me back my dog."

This joke is funny and so true.
Shell

My hands better

well everyone that had concerns since I burnt my hand will be glad to know that it's a lot better now. I just get the fun of picking all the dead skin off of it. until Nik tells me to stop that is. It's still red, but with the way I heal it'll probably look like this for a good year or so.
Shell

Greatest Sentence Ever

The following receives my vote for the greatest sentence ever award:

In the poem Jack and Jill, it important to note the lack of a comma between Jack and and, and and and Jill.

Count the ands!

also!

Isaiah 30:4 "Though they have officials in Zoan, and their envoys have arrived in Hanes,

Is it wrong to get a mental picture of Egyptians walking around in their underwear?

Finally:

I decided that "Angels from the Realms of Glory" had a great tune that was wasted only being sung at Christmas, so I wrote new Words. They need work.

Here we come in Chirst to worship
In this house to which we're called
He will build this house before us
And his Church can never fall

Come and worship
come and worship
Worship Christ th' Triumphant King

With all those that went before us
We proclaim his victory
To a world that will abhor us
As they hated Christ our King

Come and worship
come and worship
Worship Christ th' Triumphant king

When the King returns in Glory
Like the lightning east to west
Then his bride shall rise tor meet him
Looking to the eternal rest

Come and worship
come and worship
Worship Christ th' Triumphant king.

-Nik

This was emailed to me and i think it 's funny

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE

George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife
told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could
see from the bedroom window.
George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there
were people in the shed stealing things.
He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and he said
"no".. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply
lock his door and an officer would be along when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my
shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now cause I've just shot
them all." Then he hung up.
Within five minutes three police cars, an Armed Response unit, and an
ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars
red-handed
One of the Policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot
them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

I would comment on this little joke but today i am really one handed, I went to the doc on Tuesday for my hand and they put some cream on it. Yesterday when I took off the bandages, my skin kinda came with it. So now I have to hunt and peck on the keyboard. Not fun
Shell

Messy Eater

well a few days back, Nik and I were eating supper and I don't remember what we were eating but it required fingers. I think it was pork ribs. Anyway, as my family knows I am a very messy eater. I don't think I have one ounce of lady in me when it comes to food (other things too, ask Nik). Afterwards, all Nik could say after laughing was we should have a contest between me and his niece Erin (who is 2ish yrs. old) to see who could go through a supper the cleanest. Somehow I think Erin would win.
Shell

More Baby things

well, to my surprise yesterday night, i got a phone call from Lauraine Deemter. She's the sister of one of my friend down in Lethbridge and she also attends Bethel URC. Well she has four kids all ready and says that's it for her family so she's will to give me more girl baby clothes. So mom, if your reading this... I NEED THAT DRESSER.
Shell

It's not that bad

yes, i know it was all my fault and maybe Nik could have said something but what's done is done. and besides having a fat hand and having to hunt and peck to type on the computer, it feels pretty good today. oh and Nik has to do most of the cooking too so don't feel bad for him (I'm doubting anyone is)
and to top it all off, Nik has a sore back. he tried lifting me. He know now not to do that. I'M TOO FAT!!!
Shell

More thoughts on "America Alone"

Well, as promised here are some further thoughts on the book "America Alone" by Mark Steyn.

1) D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones has a book entitled "From Fear to Faith: Studies in the Book of Habakkuk" that works as an excellent companion to this book. Just change the word communism to Islam.

2) Around the turn of the LAST millennium, the general feeling in Europe was that they were in the end times since they had Muslims to the south, Normans to the north (vikings), and Mongols to the east. They managed to muddle themselves out of that problem too.

3) Basicly there has been someone who is willing to proclaim the end of the western world since the beginning of the western world. (I'm sure the barbarians sacking Rome seemed like a great setback for the civilization, yet here we are)

4) While certain Christian youths might return from, say, China, and pray for persecution of the church in America (I don't remember where I read this, sorry) That would not make the larger church more faithful, nor would it allow the faithfull to spread the true gospel as easily as we can now. It would be better to pray that we may take full advantage of the freedom that we have.

5) Any church leader who teaches that there are many paths to God (I'm looking at you, the Anglican Church) will find it much more difficult to do so when one of these paths are actively seeking to collect your head. Frighteningly, I'm not sure if this would turn out to be true

6) Finally, Christ has built his Church, and the gates of Hell cannot stand against it.

-nik.

I am a Bad husband

The story goes like this. Rachelle had made us a loverly Saturday lunch of Hotdogs and C0Mushroom soup. As she was dishing out the hotdogs she dropped half of one on the floor. I attempted to keep the dog away, but should have paid more attention to my wife (my poor pregnant wife, I might add) who was attempting to bend under the table to grab the half wiener. Unfortunately, her bad husband didn't say something like "I'll get it dear, you're pregnant," or "Put that pan of boiling water down first" and realized my mistake when she let out a scream as the water sloshed from the pan over her hand. I got her to put it under cold water right away, but the damage had been done.

The good news is the burn is not deep, just painful. Also, Vanilla (not artificial stuff though) will draw out the burn. Baking soda paste (made with water) also helps. Thanks to Mom Olthof for that bit of advice.

So no crisis or anything, I just feel bad.

Post to Check Out

I suppose if my wife is going to post on here I'd better post in a different color to keep us apart.

So anyway (anyways?) you all should check out this web page, it's what mom has been telling us for years actually. Iron Chef: A Productivity Fable

aaaanyway I should get going to work. And maybe organize my desk.


naaaaw

-Nik

Just about me (Shell)

1. What time is it? 1:43 pm
2. Name: Rachelle ...censored for ID theft. the middle name only comes out when someone's mad at me usually it's just shell

3. What are you most afraid of ? losing someone close
4. What kind of car you drive? i used to drive a Intrepid till i crashed it, then i drove a crappy ford and i sold it to my brother ryan (it's still a good car Deb, really) and now i just don't drive. i hate driving anyway and if i need to go anywhere i have a husband now.
5.Have you ever seen a ghost? never will and i don't believe in them anyway.
6. Where were you born? Lethbridge
7. Ever been to Alaska ? Yep, went there on our honeymoon. best honeymoon ever. the driving up there wasn't so fun. nik yelled at me for touching his music.

8. Ever been toilet papering/rolling in decorating trees? ah, no
9. Croutons or Bacon bits? Croutons
10. Favorite day of the week? Don't have one cuz right now they all seem the same to me except on Sunday when we go to church.
11. Favorite restaurant? Cheesecake Cafe, it's right across the road from where we live. but i have to say that there food is going a little down hill. but i have to agree with you Michelle, Tim Horton`s is a good place to go, and the food is still good. unfortunately i cut my husband off of Tim Horton's cuz he drinks to much coffee as it is so he cut me off too. i don't drink coffee as much as him. and even less now.
12. Favorite Flower: Roses, my bouquet i had for my wedding
13. Favorite sport to watch: hockey but only sometimes, mostly during the playoffs. I watch the playoffs last year only cuz Calgary was in them and when they lost only cuz Paul Greidanus made fun of Calgary
14. Favorite drink: Coffee when i wasn't pregnant. now milk and water and tea

15. Favorite ice cream: plain ol`vanilla, add strawberries and put them in a blender and poof you have a delicious strawberry milk shake.

16. Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney, the new picsar one's like Emperor's New Groove, Ice Age Shrek. hey, I'm a kid at heart.
17. Favorite fast food place: Wendy's

18. What color is your bedroom carpet? I would tell you if i owned a bedroom but right now were just renting. hopefully that won't be for much longer. right nik?
19. How many times you failed your driver's test? i think i failed once and then i passed only but the skin of my teeth the next time. oh well, i don't drive anyway, and i scare the crap out of anyone that ride with me when i am driving.
20. Before this one, whom did you get your last e-mail from? my mom, she alway email's me

21. What do you do most often when you are bored? sleep or play with my dog. mostly just sleep now
22. Bedtime: when i get tired which is always so 10:00, the best tv shows are over by then
23. Who will respond to this email the quickest? can't say cuz this ain't an email, it's a copy of an email
24. Who is the person that is least likely to respond? IT'S NOT AN EMAIL
25.. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses? anyone that writes a comment to this blog

26. Favorite TV show? CSI Las Vegas and those some of the reality shows, i just like laughing at the people who make complete idiots of themselves.
27. Ford or Chevy? Chevy, cuz i didn't like the ford i had to drive before. nik you made a bad move when i bought the thing
28. What are you listening to right now? the hum of the computer tower, exciting don't ya think

30. How many tattoos do you have? none and my dad would kill me (figuratively speaking) if i got one
31. Do you have any pets? bishon shitzu dog named Gomer the cutest and weirdest dog ever. hey he fits right in with me and nik. pic of him are posted on the blog

32. Which came first the chicken or the egg?that makes me think, i don't wanna think, so I'm not answering
33. What would you like to accomplish before you die? get married and raise a family with the love of my life...Nik and hey I've already got most of it done

A big THANK YOU to Nik's sister's and to Nik's mom

Well after this last weekend, i think I'm pretty well set (minus a few little thing) for baby things. Since Nik's sister's have kids just past the infant stage, they lent me and given me some baby things.
so guess how many adults it takes to put a baby bouncy chair together after Cheryl dismantled it so we could take it home...3. don't laugh, we're unexperienced. I had my cousin over so I could show her every thing and she could help me put things back together cuz i didn't know when Nik would be home from work. well he came home just before my cousin showed up and we managed to put the thing back together again. after a few tries though.
so now all i have to do is wash up all those cute baby clothes and put them in a dresser that i don't have yet. hopefully i get that from my mom but it's gets offered to my brother first. he doesn't have much in the way of furniture for his big house that he's renting. Jeremy that is, not Ryan.
Shell

More pic's of Gomer, and I found one of Nik too

This one was taken at my parents place. My dad absolutely loves my dog and Gomer like being at my parents place. He can do whatever he wants without being on a leash. but i have to say his favorite spot is in between my dad's legs when he's watching tv, in his lazy boy chair. they can both watch tv then.


I took the next one, Nik got home from work late one night and he sacked out on the couch to take a nap before he ate. well guess who snuggled up next to him... that's Gomer's spot anyway.



We used to have the computer and other things in the back room. well now it's the baby's room so we moved the computer and desk and other things into the living room. well this pic was taken when the computer was still in the back room. Gomer hates being put to bed, (locked up in his kennel) and i don't blame him. but every night after I let him do his business outside he will proceed to hide under anything around him. and for some odd reason he thinks that Nik will save him from the big bad kennel. He dose that with my dad too.

One night he hid under our bed and he even nipped at Nik when he tried to get him out. Bad Gomer. We just moved the mattress back and i grabbed him.

One thing i have never seen before in a dog (and I've seen a lot of dogs in my profession) is that he snores almost as loud as my husband (not kidding) and he also has doggy night mares. it's so funny. he'll start snoring and then he'll all of a sudden bark in his sleep and then jerk awake. that is if i don't yell at him to wake up first.
well that's all for now about my dog, I'm probably boring you with it anyway
Shell

I love my husband and my dog (Gomer)...in that order

Some people (Nik) think I love my dog better then him but it's not true. Nik just being weird again. Unfortunately I am not going into every little reason why I love Nik more them Gomer. I think those are quite obvious. Well since I don't have any good pic's of just Nik (and you all know what he looks like anyway) I'll just post some cute pic's of my dog.
And just a little explanation of the pic's, the first is Nik being his weird self and he piled pillows on top of Gomer, he didn't move so Nik took a picture. Gomer has successfully taken over the couch unless we sit there, then he just snuggles up to you. The second pic is me giving him a bath and he covered in that bright whitening shampoo. He looked so cute I just had to take a pic.
More pics of Gomer later cuz he's so cute
Shell

I love my wife

So, this is going to seem like I only love my wife because of what she does for me but, well, look what she did today:

-she made me a pumpkin pie for desert, which was really good
-she cut my hair! which is interesting because she has never done that before.

Shell would like me to point out that there was whipped cream on the punkin pie...

also, I felt the baby move last night (woo hoo)

Also, I read a book this weekend call "America Alone" by someone or other Steyr. I might put a few thoughts about it online later this week.

anyways it's bedtime now

-Nik.

WORRIES!

We had a bit of a fright today when Shell couldn't feel the baby moving. But a call to Michelle, and a short 10 minute lay down, and we (by which I mean Shell) are feeling better about it, since she could feel the baby again.

I cannot thank God enough for the family he provided me.

So, all seems to be well anyways, we'll see tomorow...

Pray for us!
Nik.

From Michelle's Blog From Janet's Blog...

1. Can you cook? Yes, since grade 4 when I was given the responsibility. And now my wife wishes I didn't (just kidding she only hates the smoke alarm going off)

2. What was your dream growing up? I was going to tell stories in some fashion or other first it was writing, then computer games, then music, and it cycled like so. Since I have never developed these talents, I would say this dream is DEAD.

3. What talent do you wish you had? I wish I could juggle and do magic tricks

4. Favorite place? Home, hate travelling... love my wife.

5. Favorite vegetable? Snijbone (chopped beans in mushroom soup)

6. The last book you read? last book i finished: The Truth by Terry Pratchett

7. What zodiac sign are you? Pisces.

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Naw, I'm not that interesting...

9. Worst Habit? Pacing, seriously I cannot stand still.

10. Do we know each other outside of this blog? Yes.

11. What is your favorite sport? Intending to watch CFL or Hockey. I usually follow the first 3 weeks of the season before losing interest until the playoff race.

12. Negative or Optimistic attitude? Depends on the kind of day I'm having

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator? Pace. and think, I like unstructured thinking.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you? Don't want to talk about it.

15. Tell me a weird fact about you: I have appeared on the program "Hi-Q" 2 times and lost both times!

16. Do you have any pets? my wife has a dog named Gomer.

17. Do you know how to do the Macarena? I usedtacould.

18. What time is it where you are now? 4:30pm

19. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew? I don't

20. Which is your favourite bar to hang at? I don't like bars, too noisy.

21. Do you think clowns are cute or scary? I have never thought about clowns. Except for sad clowns. The whole "smiling on the outside, crying on the inside" seems to be an interesting expression of the human experience. Like when people ask you how you are, and they expect you to answer fine, because they don't want to know about your sorrow. Wow, that came out more depressed teenager than i meant it.

22. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
The problem with being able to change one thing with the way you look is that you would then have to change everything else to match it. Besides, everything about the way I look is either a result of who I am or helped cause who I am. My body is a God-Given diary of my life, you don't change those things

23. What color eyes do you have? blue

24. Ever been arrested? Don't want to talk about that either

25. Bottle or Draft? Draft, unless you have something interesting in the bottle.

26. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it? DOWN PAYMENT on a house!

27. Do you believe in ghosts? No.

28. Favorite thing to do in your spare time? Play guitar badly, build model ships (or airplanes), read about Cars, read about God, or just read.

29. Do you swear a lot? I used to but it subsided as I got older (and married). Quiting my warehouse job also helped

30. Favorite swear word? ****

31. Biggest pet peeve? People who drive in my blind spot. Also pickup trucks

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself? Weird but I would mean it in a way that others wouldn't. It defininatly would not be because of anti-social tendencies or a lack of manners, just because it would sum up, in one word, my tendency to mean different things that people hear.... see what i mean?

anyways, This should work as an introduction to me...

Hello From my Mom's Basement!

Hey, I'm jumping on the bandwagon! I have actually started a blog.
So, the FAQ:

Why is Nik blogging?
Because I live in Calgary, and all my Family pretty much doesn't. And because my sister keeps a really great blog and that inspires me to try the same thing. And because I'm going to be a Daddy in 3 months and my mother wants to keep up... it's her first grandkid in another city.

Why "Tales from the Weird Side"?
'cause my wife tells me I'm weird on a pretty much daily basis, and she usually has good reason to. I feel, however, that if I were to try to change I would be betraying myself. So I'm weird in that I don't express myself like most other people. I'm find humor in things others don't. Assuming i post more than a few times on this thing, you'll understand even more.... (dun dun DUUUUN)

Why is Nik writing this post from his mother's basement?
No reason, I just happen to be visiting.

Why does Nik keep refering to himself in the third person?
Because I did so in the first question, and so must continue doing it so there is a feeling of continuity in the post. Also, I am vain.

Why is this FAQ so short?
I ran out of questions to ask myself.

Well, I intend to post again in about 3 minutes, so......yeah.